Thank you Mark for all your advice throughout this course, it really did help during the birth of our son.
Throughout the labour process I was able to help my wife to feel as calm, confident and comfortable as possible. My wife has said to many of our friends how amazed she was with my help throughout the process, despite the fact that I thought I was not really doing much and felt guilty that she appeared to be going through so much pain!
But the act of actually being there for her, and being able to offer comforting massages or dances, preparing the room and creating a comfortable environment or pre-empting any additional requirements really helped her to deliver a happy, healthy, relaxed and beautiful little boy into our world.
I used some of the massage techniques from the course during my wife’s labour and they really did help her through. I was only able to use these in between contractions as she did not want to be touched during them due to the intensity and increased sensitivity as a result, however she said that they helped her to relax and provide some much needed relief!
I especially enjoyed doing the tummy massages during the later stages of pregnancy, a process that all 3 of us enjoyed very much judging by some of the kicks I got at the time!
Thank you very much.
My main worries were: "Could I be the person my partner needed when she needs it?" and "How will I cope with her changing moods?". I didn't understand the changes she was feeling both physically and mentally. How was I going to cope with the run up to labour and the birthing process?
The Online Course actually gave me an insight into how women think and how my actions can help stimulate oxytocin and the positive effects of doing that.
Working through the program gave me the confidence to understand her needs more fully and the ability to hear what were calls for help when she felt alone. I became more able to help her know that I was going to be the person she needed when it came to the labour and birth of our baby.
I realised that I could be an incredibly positive influence in supporting her, as she went into the natural state she felt she need to be in for giving birth. She seemed to grow in faith and trust that she was in a safe place and that her needs were being met.
My belief and self confidence have gone through the roof.
Marks program and book is helping our ongoing relationship as well, I now have a better understanding regarding the 'natural dance' of relationships. It is helping me to be a better partner and father. Learning these things is still impacting our relationship, she seems more secure and often says she feels loved and valued by me, the growing bond with our baby is being deeply benefited.
I have really valued the program and will promote it amongst my friends both female and male.
Thanks Mark, you're a hero!
The main thing my wife was worried about was having an induction of ‘labour’. We had also planned for a home birth as our first child had to be induced and we had felt out of control. Not being told what was happening didn’t help matters either, so I was a bit worried about being at home for the birth of our baby.
It all ended up turning out almost perfectly. Doing the program and speaking directly to Mark helped me to know I could be there and support my wife during birth and enable her to feel safe and worry less.
We did have our home birth with no intervention on 15th November. My wife afterwards told everyone that I was brilliant during the birth and that she couldn't have done it without me. I feel I could not have done it without both the hypno-birthing and the Birthing 4 Blokes program.
I'm so glad I had the opportunity to do the program as I do not think I could have stayed as calm and focused as I did, which in turn helped my wife stay calm.
If I could do it all again I would. I can now, from experience, recommend the program to any potential dads out there.
Thanks for everything Mark, your wealth of knowledge is second to none, and to top it all the videos feel so personal.
For me, the main thing wasn't so much concern about the pregnancy period or even really the birth itself, but "will having a baby have a negative effect on our relationship or lifestyle?" as I find 'blokes' often tend to share negative experiences with each other (at least until their mate is expecting a baby they start to be a bit more honest about the bits they enjoy).
I have a theory (based on nothing other than my own anecdotal experiences from before we were expecting) that dads are sometimes slightly jealous of men who don't yet have any kids and try their best to make them dread it and create anxiety almost as "revenge" that they've gotten away with not having kids for longer.
What I've found since I've been expecting a baby is that most dads do actually really enjoy it mostly and that the changes are all absolutely worth it, once the initial lifestyle change (shock) has been adapted to.
I have found the video programme gave me an outlet to explore men's real feelings/anxieties/doubts/worries/concerns.
I watched Mark open up about these things and it reminded me that we're all usually concerned about the same things, but once I'd been through the programme I had more confidence and freedom to "confront" my mates about what they really feel about parenthood at all stages.
Had I not read Mark's book and done the video course I may have tried to bottle up any concerns in the way that I sense most of my mates did trying to be "macho" about it all.
A big learning from me is that it isn't cool to try and make "dads to be" feel negative about the whole thing out of (what my hunch is) a bit of jealousy. I guess I'll have to see how I feel in a couple of years time but it is definitely on my radar of things to watch out for in my own thoughts and how I pass on my own wisdom.